Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
