with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
