Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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