I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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