Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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