it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
