We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
