thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
