Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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