oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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