Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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