singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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