they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
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You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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