I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize