Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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