Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I want her autograph on my taint
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
