just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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