I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
