SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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