My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
