if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
