i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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