My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
