So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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