i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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