Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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