Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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