I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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