you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
