She said her name was "party"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i think i have herpe
just one?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
