wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
