It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
