You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
