Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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