Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
