I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
