Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
