My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
