We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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