chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
