I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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