Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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