Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
