I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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