He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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