Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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