Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
