There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
