I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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