Where did you get a picture of my penis
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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