I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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