I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
