weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize