That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
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Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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