Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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