I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
