Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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