never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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