I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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