afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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