I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
